


Bittersweet Melancholy

by Earlysunsetsoverchicago



Series: There is a light [1]
Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Alternative universe- no despair, Dead Parent, M/M, Mikan is best nurse, POV First Person, Souda has issues, Tanaka has more, That person is Souda, mentions of child abuse, now doesn't that sound fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7207031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earlysunsetsoverchicago/pseuds/Earlysunsetsoverchicago
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the first installment of a trilogy that Will chronical Souda and Gundham relationship and it's gonna be hella Gay</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be anywhere but especially not here, not when they're moving me to another room. A room with another patient who's going to hate me.

I awkwardly shift me knees as close to my chest as I can without having to move my hands from the positions they were in as I fiddled with wooden puzzle a nurse gave me to calm me down. She said that it would help my anxiety without the doctors having to up my prescriptions, and it really did. I felt a lot more at ease being able to take something apart and put it back together, but even with something to keep myself busy I was still panicking about the move.

I sink back even farther against the wall as the door started to creak open. I tried to pretend that I didn't know he was there, hoping that if I didn't acknowledge him he wouldn't acknowledge me. Sadly my horrible morbid curiosity caught the better of me.

I got a relatively good look at him. He was tall, much taller than me, his skin looked a sickly pale Gray, it was almost the same color as his eyes which were barely two shades lighter. He was wearing a t-shirt, nothing about what he was wearing stood out except for the scars that went down his entire arm, There was apart of me that wanted to know how he got them but the rest of me already knew. His hair was black, well most of it anyway, the rest was a pale blonde. I’ve always liked blondes. When I was little I use to dream about having a blonde girlfriend like all the girls my dad had posters of. I remember when I was little I use to go through them trying my hardest to be sneaky because every time he caught me he'd beat me. I hated that side of my dad but after awhile that was the only side I ever saw.

I was quickly snapped back into reality as his eyes met me and I quickly ducked my head behind my legs. I felt my face burn up, God he probably hated me. He probably thought I was an awful creep, I can't believe I fucked up that badly that quickly. Someone please put me out of my misery, there's no way I'm coming name from this one. I wanna die.

I jump back quickly hitting my head on the wall as he sat down next to me on my bed. Oh fuck now not only do I look like a total creep but a complete idiot too. I flinch slightly as he rested his hand on my ankle. It felt weird, my skin was tingling at the sensation of his hand, and I actually kind of liked it, a lot.

I looked up slowly at his stoic face, shit he was made. “Uh...hi.” I said awkwardly, trying to defuse this horribly awkward situation. He kept his horribly stoic expression before asking with a completely straight face “Why were you intently gazing at me mortal?”

Wow he was insane, I guess I should have expected that considering that we're both patients in a mental hospital. “ I was just curious.” I muttered and tried to turn back to my puzzle but he put his hand on it and gently pushed it down onto my lap.

We were in an awkward position at this point. He was leaning over me, basically on top of me. He had one hand on my puzzle and the other on the wall next to me. His hip were directly in between my legs which subconsciously fell open as I focused on the puzzle.

Not only did my face feel like it was set on fire but my entire body too. His face was so close to mine at half of me wanted to disappear and the other half wanted that space between us to disappear.

“Tell me, what do they call you pink mortal.” Okay so he was back to being crazy dude with… a god complex? I guess, that sounds about right. I mean he was calling me a ‘mortal’ like he's some divine figure.

“Souda, Kazuichi Souda.” I managed to mumble out awkwardly as I turned my head to avoid eye contact, trying to make this a little less uncomfortable.

“Souda Kazuichi” He repeated and sat back, finally not touching me. I slowly started sitting up more and sighed before he started talking again.

“So I surmise you desire to cognizant my name. Isn't that right?” He asked and I hardly knew what the fuck he even said.

“I, I guess so…” I said trying not to sound as confused as I was, but I was probably failing miserably and he probably thought I was an idiot anyway, and he was right if he would be right.

He smirked and crossed his arm. If he was trying to look cool, it was working. “Very Well Souda, they call me Gundham Tanaka, the dark lord.”

Holy shit this guy was completely batshit crazy! And why is he named after an figure model? Is that his actual name, because I remember building one of those along time ago when I was kid, there's no way someone would name their child that.

“I see you're impressed mortal, don't be. I'm a patient just like you. brought here by a demon I am forced to call father.” He said that last sentence with so much disdain I was kind of interesting about what happened between him and his father but that would be a stupid question to ask.

I shift to move my legs over the edge of the bed to get up. “ Nice to meet you Gundham, I'd love to stay and chat but I'm really hungry and I'd like to go get something to eat.” I said quickly as I shoved my puzzle into my pocket and tried to make a straight line for the door.

As soon as I got to the door I felt a wave of guilt wash over me and around with a sigh. “Would you like to come with me?” I asked slowly regretting my choice of not getting out of there right away.

“No Mortal, I do not want to accompany you to the cafeteria for I am scared of loud gathering. Though if you can, bring me back a salad.” He announced as if he was a politician speaking to reporters at a press conference. It was kind of fucking weird but I shrugged it off and left.

I quickly walked down the hall trying not to run know it would attract attention. When I get to the community room my eyes dart around to find my nurse, Mikan, who would be a lot easier to find if I had my glasses or contacts but my parents didn't bring either, or really even visit me. The last time I saw then was when I was being wheeled in here and god knows how long ago that was.

After a lot of squinting and awkwardly asking around around I finally found her distributing medication in the far corner of the room. I shuffle up to her and she turns around to greet me, almost knocking the tray out of her hand and on to the floor. As the tray shakes she almost starts to cry.

“I-I'm so s-sorry, it's all my fault. I-I didn't mean to hurt you.” She quickly apologized looking at the floor just trying not to cry.

“Mikan it's okay.” I said softly and she looked up. “It's just me Kazuichi,I'm fine.” I said with a gentle smile and the fear on her face melt as she calmed down. She took a deep breath before talking again.

“You scared me there Kazuichi I thought I was going to have a heart attack.” She said relieved “I know.” I smiled and she sat down at an empty table and I sat across from her.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” She asked intently. I just kind of shifted awkwardly and whispered probably a little too loud “Do you know anything about my roommate Gundham Tanaka?”

She sighed and whispered back in a shaking voice “you know We're not supposed to disclose that kind of information to other patients.”   
  
“Well I'm close to being discharged so technically I'm not a patient.” I said way too confidently in something I knew was probably wrong, they're never going to let me leave but at least it a nice thought right?

Mikan sighed again and shifted awkwardly “I don't know Souda. You're on three different types of antidepressants, two types of Anxiolytic and on and off four kinds of sedatives. As much as I want to believe that you'll get a lot better really fast, I don't see it happening.”

“Come on please Mikan. I'm not asking for much just backstory.” I begged and she finally caved.

“You can't tell anyone this but, Gundham Tanaka was dropped off here the same time as you were by his father. He was wearing a suit, it was very unusual and his only other item of clothing was a T-shirt his father just kind of threw at him. He didn't speak in the being we had to call up his father to learn that his mother died. He was in emotional shock and when he broke it he was like this. It's his coping mechanism but we don't know if he'll ever break it. He talks in riddles so we can't even try to help him.” She explained looking down at the pill tray before looking up at me again “I'm sorry Kazuichi, I wish I knew more about him but I don't.” She apologized before getting up. “ I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.” She said before getting back to work. I tried to say goodbye but she let before I could say anything.

I sighed and went to cafeteria, which was really uneventful and boring so I'm going to spare you that part of the story.

When I got back into the room Gundham was laying down on his bed reading a book I'm pretty sure he didn't get from the hospital Library. It was black and leather bound with many strange symbols carved into the cover that were gone over with a metallic reddish purple.

“Uhh… I brought you back your salad.” I said awkwardly shutting the door behind me. As the door clicked shut, He put down the book and smiled.

“ very good my hetaera, can you please bring it to me?” He asked sitting up and placing his book next to him.

I had no idea what what he called me and it made me slightly uncomfortable. He seemed so kind and sincere saying it but I was still scared that he was making fun of me without me being aware of it because I'm just that stupid.

I awkwardly walk across the room and he gestured for me to sit next to him, and I did. I quickly handed him the plastic containers and started anxiously moving around and I just didn't feel comfortable sitting anywhere that wasn't my own bed so I quickly got up and took off my shoes. I rushed to my bed and took the the puzzle out of my pocket.

Gundham shot me a funny look and before he could say anything I told him I was really tired. Which he probably thinks I'm a freak now if he didn't before and that thought is what kept me awake started at the wall night. The fear that someone who just met me already hated me.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *blast can you feel the love tonight on full volume* is this too subtle?

It had to be like 4 AM and I got woke up by something I can really only describe as the cry of some wounded animal.

I sat up to see what it was and it was Gundham, why wouldn't it be. I got up and quietly walked across the room before I hesitated to sit down on the bed. It wasn't a good idea, I probably should've just went back to bed but I couldn't. Something inside me was telling me I had to help him.

I gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed and Gundham really looked miserable. He was sweating profusely, he was straight up sobbing and tossing and turning. He was muttering to himself too.

I gently climb over him and hold his arms to stop from flailing them and hurting himself. This was terrible choice and an awkward position but it calmed him down… Sort of. He mwrapped his arms around me and dragged me down against his chest. He was just whimpering at this point and I could hear him muttering now too.

“Mom… I'm sorry….. I didn't…. I didn't mean to…. No mom! Mom please don't leave me.” He was starting to bawl again and I couldn't get up. He wouldn't let me go and You never wake up a night screamer… Or was that a   
sleep walker. Either way I ain't doing it.

I was able to shift into a more comfortable position before he started whimpering into my hair again. “Mom I'm sorry I'm not as good as you think I am… I wanted to be good, I tried but… You're so kind and good and-and I'm bad because I'm nothing like you… Mom I'm sorry.” Wow he, and I thought I had issues. Gundham was a whole different ball then me entirely.

I gently wiggle my arm out from my side and wipe the tears from his face because they were getting everywhere. Surprisingly, that's what woke him up. Well fuck, he definitely thinks I'm creepy now… Though on the brightside atleast I could get a new less shell shocked roommate.  
  
He looked down at me and holy fuck was he blushing? He face had to be as pink as my hair. He quickly looked away from me but never loosened his hold on me.

“I see you're quite servile when it comes to others comfort.” He said condescendingly and I had no idea what he said but I felt completely offended.

I move to sit up and let go of me. I scoffed and tried to play it cool like he wouldn't think I'm a dumbass anymore if I did this. But I know he'd still think I was regardless.

“Listen I just did it so you'd shut the hell so I could go to sleep. Ain't nobody could've slept with you crying in your sleep like that.” He face went pale. Well paler, he's really fucking pale regardless but now he was as white as the sterile sheets that sat on the bed.

He quickly got up on his elbows and looked at me in distress. “I wasn't perhaps mutter anything?” He asked and I awkwardly sat back just as distressed as he was. I started rubbing my arm and stared at the ceiling to avoid eye contact.

“Well… You were kinda going off about your mom.” I said awkwardly and felt his hand on my arm, stopping it. I looked down at him and instinctual lean forward towards him.

“W-what exactly did I say?” He asked and he looked like he he desperately needed answers.

He let go of my arm and I went to lean back again to create some space between us and he put his knees up. I leaned my back against legs and this position was shockingly comfortable.

“Well you… You were crying and apologizing for not being like her.” I said and he went ridged.

“Oh well… I suppose I did mortal.” He said and his was breaking. I felt really bad for the guy, he lost his mom and well his sanity all in what seems like a week.

“Listen,” I said as I sat up and gently put my hands on top of his. Which he responded by resting his hands on my upper thighs. I let go of his hands and leaned back again. “ I never knew your mom and I'm not going to pretend that I did but I doubt that she'd be upset about who you turned out to be. She was your mom and from what I hear she loved you all her heart. And listen, I'm not the kind of person who believes there's a somewhere that we go after we die but if there is a somewhere, a somewhere special that's where your mom is. She's there watching you I bet and she's proud.” I said trying to comfort him and he started crying

It wasn't a harsh sob, it was gentle cry. The kind of cry you normally have we you heard a sad song you just can't get out of your head.

“She was an angel, how could she be proud of me, how could anyone even like me.” His voice was breaking and I rested my hands on top of his and held them in mine.

“Well I like ya.” I said softly and he stopped crying and sat up on his elbows. What the fuck did I just do? Why the hell didn't I think this out, fuck.

“Even if I'm made of poison.” He said softly hardly above a whisper and I awkwardly nodded my head.

“Uhh… Yeah sure buddy.” I replied and he gave me a tight hug, and just when I thought this couldn't have gotten anymore awkward I actually enjoyed it a little too much.

I have no idea if it was because I'm touch starved for being in this fucking hospital for four months, or because I had a cute boy’s dick pressed against my ass or hell maybe it's just because I'm a horny teenager but, I popped a boner. I know for fact it was pressed against both our stomachs and it was one of the most single most humiliating moments of my life.

“Umm… paramour are you experiencing an erection.” He said awkwardly and I just buried my head into the crook of his neck and shoulder trying to hide my face which felt like it was on fire.

“ just ignore it.” I muttered into his shoulder and he awkwardly moved his hands to my hips.

“You know I-I can fix that for you consort.” He managed to stutter out and it lead to what had to be the least sexiest hand job I have ever had but I’ve had a hand job but it was bad. Probably the worst hand job in the history of hand jobs. It was really dry and the only real lubricant was the sweat from Gundham’s clammy hands.

Despite it being the awful I still came and I came hard. So hard I kinda bit Gundham’s shoulder hard. Which for normal people biting your boyfriend’s neck it's fine when you do it but when I do it because of horrible sharp teeth I could kill him…holy fuck why am I callin’ Him my boyfriend now!

I quickly pull back and he looks only slightly hurt but man did that bite look bad. It looked deep and I really hope he doesn't need stitches because this is gonna be really hard to explain to the doctors and I really don't want to move rooms again because I know there is this creepy guy here named nagito and I don't wanna go anywhere near him let alone sleep in the same room. There's just something about that guy that isn't right and vaguely homicidal and I ain't going anywhere near that.

“ hey Gundham, do wanna go take a shower?” I asked awkwardly and he smiled so I guess the answer was gonna be yes and I was right.

It was kind of an strange shower to say the least considering neither of us ever took a shower with another person before and the shower stall was a tight fit for two people. Not to mention Gundham’s four inches taller than me so he kinda blocked all the water from fucking hitting me. After we got out the bite on his neck still looked really bad and I had no idea why he was just shrugging it off.

“Is your neck okay?” I asked and he just grins and shake his head.

“Oh darling it's fine. I've had bites worse than this. I use to breed animals after all.” He said all nonchalant. Honestly I wouldn't expected that this weirdo breeds animals until he told me but that's probably where his god complex comes from.

“Oh… Okay.” Shrugged and just followed him out of the bathroom feeling like a giant idiot for not knowing that sooner.

“So… My dearest consort what did you do before you, as I, was stuck in this hellish institution.” I pieced together my vague understanding of what those words meant before giving an answer.

“Well I was a mechanic I guess. I use fix bikes at my parents shop and I was good at it. I like fixing things.” And As I spoke I felt an actual smile creep up on my face. I haven't smiled in a long time and it was kinda surprising that someone I just met made me actually smile like an idiot.

“I can tell that you take pleasure in fixing things.” He chuckled “After all why would you spend time with me other wise.”

I chuckled and elbowed him. “Aw come on Gundham I think you're pretty cool.” He blushed slightly and sighed.

“You really do?” He asked looking at me hopefully and I smiled and chuckled a little bit because he was just so damn cute.

“Definitely.” I nodded “So it's like 5AM and the cafeteria’s normally open by then, so do you wanna grab breakfast, there's normally no one in there this early in the morning.” I suggested and he reacted like I said the secret to the meaning life and I could help to laugh.

So we go to the cafeteria and I get cereal like I normally do, and he got a fruit salad because they didn't have soy milk and he spent the next 12 minutes complaining about how those ‘pitiful mortals’ don't offer vegan options but besides that train wreck that made me wanna rip off my own skin breakfast was fine. I actually had fun, I really liked talking to Gundham. I think I might actually be falling in love with him.

“That was quite delightful wasn't it Souda?” He asked looking at me with a dreamy look on his face.

“Yeah.” I said and I completely lost track of time until I glanced at the wall clock. I couldn't actually see where the hands were exact but the fuzzy lines on the clock said it was 7:14 and that means I was late for my appointment and what I've learned, if I have learned anything from being here is do not want to miss an appointment.

“Gundham, I'm sorry but I have an appointment and real have to go.” I said getting up quickly “I'll see you later Kay.” I said quickly and as I walked pass him he took my wrist and pulled me down for a kiss.

“Until then my angel of darkness.” He whispered in my ear and I had to keep myself from laughing when he said it but I still thought about what he said all day. No matter how horribly cringe worthy it was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is über short, I just wanted to set up the next fix in this series which is now in the works.

I was really getting better since I started dating Gundham and so has he really. Apparently he stopped being so cryptic with his doctor and we're both going to be discharged soon… Or at least that what I've heard. I don't really know though, I haven't really know anything since Mikan left a few days ago. I don't why she left but she said that she was being discharged but that only happens to patients… Wait a minute, fuck! She was a patient! How was I so fucking stupid to think she was nurse, she had a paper hat on with a cross on it for Christ sake! You what it didn't matter, nothing mattered the only thing that mattered was Gundham and I were going to leave this place and live happily ever after like in the movies… But that's not how it works, that only really happens in the movies. You know the kid were the girl’s walking alone on the train station platform all alone just looking for a sign, a reason not to leave and as she gets on the train the hero runs to get her and she sees him chase after him and she runs to the back car and jumps off into his arms and he catches her like a princess and then they kiss. Yeah, that doesn't happen in real life, there are no fairy tale endings well… At least not the beginning. Maybe when you think you're on that train platform you're actually sitting in in your bedroom looking out window waiting for him to return from the war… Man this analogy got way too specific and weird. Long story short people will leave you and you will never be the same well… At least that was my case anyway. You know I should probably stop rambling and start telling you what actually happened.

So me and Gundham were up to 20 points each in therapy which basically means that we need one more improvement session to get the fuck out of there. So we kinda decided that our last day was gonna be spent packing and daydreaming about the future. What we didn't know was that as soon as we left together that was the last time we would really see each other…. Well in person at least. We exchanged numbers and all of that, and in the beginning it was nice you know. It was almost like he was with me all the time but then he stopped answering as much. He met new people, moved on and I kinda had a hard time with it. I ended up back in here once, he came to visit me then but I couldn't stand the tears rolling down his face. I know back then he could hardly do anything and when I got out he told me he loved me every hour. I felt so bad, I hated that I probably made him feel trapped and something I tried to do to get the pain to just added in on. The I love you’s went on for months until he got bored and just went back to what we did before. He has his friends now, and I have mine. We free apart and that hurts but now I kinda social media stalk him… Only a little bit, It's like screenshot all of his pictures or anything like that… okay so moving on. Life's pretty okay for me now but I honestly thought this wouldn't happen. I can't believe I expected any other send off than a bittersweet melancholy that I call love.


End file.
